flasher interview || the other side of the raincoat

Laura: What sort of vague, yet slightly specific bio would you like to give me? Nothing to give away your identity, just some general background.

Raincoat: I’m in my late 30s now. The madness was going on in my early 30s. I hold a BA, never been married, and have always been a sort of misfit. My relationships with women have typically been solid friendships. I’m the guy they’d come running to when their crummy boyfriends dumped them.

I’ve been called cute, nice, reliable, and “you’re too much like a brother, to me.” But on the flipside, I’ve had problems at the other extreme: a few women who’ve quickly wanted me to be their one & only.

Laura: I have been flashed several times. I'd like you to explain or try to get in the mind of the flasher and may be help me understand what the guy was thinking or feeling. First, an ATM flasher. He walked out of the bushes with his khakis around his knees and was stroking his flaccid penis in my general direction. For some reason I said to him, "Sir, you pants are around your knees."

Did he hear me? What response was he seeking?

Raincoat: Ok. I can speak for myself, as appended by the scant professional literature that exists on this subject. There are always exceptions to any profile, so I don’t claim to offer any definitive answers about exhibitionists—as if they were molecules with known & unchanging properties. With that said...

Rarely does an exhibitionist show his flaccid dick.

However, I can think of times when an opportunity presents itself, and the flasher isn’t ready. What do I mean by opportunity? The flasher may have a certain type of person he likes to expose himself to. But it’s not that simple. Things have to line up properly.

First of all, no one else should be able to see. Second, the flasher wants to have a full erection.

Sometimes the erection is there, and the ideal “audience” is present, but then someone steps into the picture—someone who might be able to see. Then the whole plan is ruined. The flasher opts not to flash at all. This happens a great deal, things are always going wrong. People are always moving around. The “audience” might finish the newspaper she was reading, then get up & leave. Someone may come & sit down right in the line-of-sight.

Opportunities come & go in seconds.

What I suspect with the ATM flasher is that everything lined up, except for the hard-on. He sounds like he took a gamble, and hoped he could get hard while you were present.

What kind of response was he looking for? I think that you gave the perfect response if you wanted to express dismay, and destroy whatever thrill he sought. However, the typical exhibitionist is looking for positive feedback. There are those who admit to going out with the express purpose of pissing people off, but those flashers are rare.

The typical flasher is a socially feckless personality who’s looking for some sort of approval. They aren’t “advertising” or looking for a physical encounter. Thus, a comment like: “Hey, dude, let me suck that thing” would have been similar to what you’d said about his pants being around his knees. The exhibitionist is typically about nothing more than exhibiting.

Laura: Second, this man passed me in his car as I'm driving down the road. I joke to my friend he looked like a Mormon. Around the curb he was out of his car, pants unzipped and whipping his man-club in a helicopter blade motion. This is the first time a man sped past me in a car to make this same motion. It has happened several times. Can you walk through this process and perhaps explain these auto-erotic incidents.

Raincoat: Again, this sounds like someone wanting to show himself and garner some type of positive feedback.

Laura: I have always wanted to know the answer to this - why do men who are flaccid flash? I have to say that Mormon definitely made me say "Oh, God." Single handedly he explained why women might be so happy with polygamy.

Raincoat: Again, my experience, and what I’ve read suggests that these were unusual situations, and the guys couldn’t get it up in time.

Laura: What was the state of your hot rod when you whipped it out? Was it important to be all the man you could be?

Raincoat: The vast majority of the time: fully erect.

Laura: Talking genitals: is your tool odd shaped, average, distinctive or what does it look like? Big balls? Circumcised? Are you hairy or shaved?

Raincoat grins: Well, I think this is the best answer to that... (Unzips pants, exposes his genitals.) Would you like to take a picture for the article?

Laura: Sure, why not? Does your penis have a name?

Raincoat: No name.

Laura: So, when you were exposing youself, what were you holding in your hand? Your cock? Your "self?" A feeling?

Raincoat: I’d hold my dick. Never made direct eye contact; only enough to get an idea of whether she was into watching me, or not.

If the lady was watching me, I wouldn’t risk ruining it by making eye contact, I’d just let her watch until one of us had to leave or if someone came and ruined the arrangement. But whether it had been 5 seconds or 3 minutes, she & I (2 strangers) shared a little secret.

However, If she showed irritation, I felt like a huge piece of shit.

Laura: Describe the first time you whipped it out.

Raincoat: I have a hard time remembering that.

Laura: Did you do it so many times you can't recall?

Raincoat: I have a hard time remembering because I really don’t want to. That was the start of a two year mess. For the ladies who were amused, I’m glad. But there were many more who were startled, and angered.

Laura: Previous to this interview, you told me that your career as a flasher was a brief one that ended in a specific way. Explain.

Raincoat: I had committed myself to a two year project. It seemed to be a great opportunity, but three months into it I was miserable.

I didn’t get along with my colleagues; I didn’t like the project itself. But there I was. In similar situations, other people might turn to booze in order to numb the insanity. But my distraction was flashing.

When the project was over and I moved on to things & places where I fit, so many of my problems went away. The urge to flash went away. No longer was I lying in bed for days & days feeling sorry for myself, and needing a distraction.

Once I was in a comfortable environment, the big problem was in breaking the habits.

Laura: During your days as a flasher, did you have a certain method or technique?

Raincoat: This is difficult because first, I’d find places where there would be lots of people who’d be relatively still: library, bookstore, public transportation. I quickly took notice of where everyone was.

Then there’d be 2 necessary items: something for blocking the view of other people (a newspaper or briefcase), and some sort of lubricant for achieving a quick erection.

Women who were about twenty to forty, and looked like they were in a good mood, they were ideal. Someone who looked like she’d had a miserable day, I didn’t want to make it even more miserable.

Laura: If I can be precise, did you fondle your equipment or just display it? If you did fondle, what motion did you use?

Raincoat: Just enough squeezing and occasional stroke to keep it hard. But that’s all. There wasn’t any desire to masturbate or cum.

Laura: For the budding flasher would you suggest boxers, briefs or commando?

Raincoat: Do not misconstrue this as advice. I wouldn’t advise anyone to do this. What I’ll speak to is this part of the routine that I had for two years.

To answer your question, I wore Commando. And my pants were always unzipped beforehand. It’s tough enough to get the dick out and get it hard. Fumbling with a zipper does create problems.

Laura: What sort of reactions did you get from those you flashed? Did any of them satisfy you?

Raincoat: Reactions! The vast majority would ignore me. Maybe get up and change seats. There were only about three who openly expressed their ire.

Satisfying reactions were the women who’d smile or stare. One woman licked her lips while staring. But those reactions were rare.

But there was one frequent reaction that was odd because it wasn’t a reaction at all. These women would naturally dart their eyes about, as if I had gloves in my lap. No smile, no frown. They did notice, but kept their reactions to themselves.

This was uncomfortable because the last thing I wanted to do was bother someone. So, instead of feeling disappointed that she wasn’t responding positively, I began to worry that she might be concealing her irritation or even fear.

Let me say one thing here. These encounters NEVER happened one-on-one. Usually there’d be plenty of people around. In that way, I hoped that the other person would realize that if she felt threatened all she had to do was scream.

Laura: Did you tell anyone in your life about what you were doing?

Raincoat: I was too ashamed of myself to say anything about it. It certainly wasn’t something I thought was cool. And I felt so completely uncool & pathetic that I wished I had a cocaine problem instead—at least that’s something people understand and can help you get through.

Was there ever a fear of being caught and ridiculed?

Raincoat: Most definitely. But, I think more about that now than I did then. I think of some of the most ridiculous chances I took. But at the time, that wasn't at the front of my mind.

Laura: Generally speaking, what sort of pornography or erotic items/images do you seek out? Did it vary during your season of flashing?

Raincoat: I assume you’re asking me about the kinds of porn that I watch privately. Great question!! I don’t watch much hardcore stuff. My preference is for wet t-shirt videos, Mardi Gras and that sort of stuff. It gives me a charge to see the women having a great time and getting so much attention. Even when their bodies aren’t skinny & tight, it really turns me on to see FUN.

A plump girl who’s showing just her tits to the crazy crowd is more of a turn on than the tight skinny girl who very professionally gets totally naked.

You ask a good question because I’ve felt left out of the fun. As a male, my role is that of the watcher. I’d love to go to a party and have women shout, “Show your dick! Show your dick!”

Laura: You need to come to Tampa Bay's Gasparilla Parade - it gets a bit wild! Or maybe that is just me yelling that. Has a woman ever flashed you either intentionally or accidentally? How did you feel?

Raincoat: I did go to New Orleans and got some beads for showing my dick, but the ladies who were shouting, “Show your dick!” seemed more like political activists. They wanted to balance off some of the “show your tits!” Thus, the few ladies who were handing out beads to the men, they weren’t as interested in seeing nice hard dicks as we were interested in seeing great boobs.

Have I ever been flashed? I think a friend was flashing me a few years ago. She was sitting very oddly: a long dress hiked up above her knees,, legs spread, and her face was turned away from me. All I saw was panties but I got a good long view! I ached all over, as I so badly wanted to comment. I wanted to ask her to slide the panties aside so I could see if she was furry or bald.

I just kept my mouth shut.

But there was a time in school where I saw this woman who was wearing a sheer top & no bra. I wouldn’t say that she’d flashed me. I think she genuinely didn’t know everyone could see her firm 20-yr old tits. That was so hot, to me. I ducked into a nearby restroom and beat-off.

Laura: Did you ever recall these exposures and get a sexual charge out of them? Or did an exposure ever lead to a sexual situation?

Raincoat: Never did an exposure lead to a physical encounter. I didn’t want that at all.

The best encounters were when a woman would stare or give a smile. On a few occasions there’d be two to four ladies together and they’d look at each other and grin, as if to say, “Can you believe this?”

My hope was that they’d go back into their regular lives, and talk about the 45 seconds of unexpected amusement they’d had that day. Funny, I never really got/get a sexual charge. On the occasion that a woman would smile, it didn’t feel sexual. It felt like she & I had a secret moment and connected for a few seconds. So, such encounters didn’t lead me to go home and masturbate.

Laura: You mentioned you might be interested in apologizing to those you flashed.

Raincoat: I pretty much wanted to explain where this came from. I wasn’t a rapist or other true beast. I was a guy looking for distant approval while offering a spontaneous bit of amusement. But the real motivation was that I was in a miserable situation that I couldn’t find my way out of. So, after 2 days of being hidden away in my apartment & thinking of suicide, I’d go through this bizarre manner of finding connection & approval.

Every time a woman would get up and get away from me, I cursed myself because instead of amusing people, I was being a pest. I wanted to follow them and apologize. I would have actually preferred to invite them to a nice dinner, chat, and part company afterward. In some ways this was sexual; and in significant ways this wasn’t at all sexual—like the alcoholic, I doubt that they have their problem as a side effect of liking the flavor of beer.

Believe me, I hated myself as much as some of those women hated me. Thus, I want to apologize to the women who’ve been bugged by a flasher.

Laura: Is there anything else you would like to add?

Raincoat: I definitely am an exhibitionist, and I love to find women who like to watch. Over the years I’ve found women who’ve trusted me enough to set up an encounter where they’d get a chance to watch a guy, and not have to fuck him, kiss him, or be his girlfriend. So, I’m aware that there are women who do like to watch. The trick, for me, is in how I find these women and develop a level of trust so that we can have some innocent fun.

I mention this because many of my responses have been some expression of remorse. However, I don’t want to come off as the guy who’s reformed and now he’s preaching abstinence. To the contrary! I’ve just had to be a bit more creative in finding volunteers.

Interview with a Flasher

Rarely does an exhibitionist show his flaccid dick.

Opportunities come & go in seconds.

Was there ever a fear of being caught and ridiculed?